Monday, March 21, 2011

Formula Development: Age of Appearance

I am currently working on my next theory. But i need some help.

Often when at work the questions is posed "how old do I look".

I am proposed that anyone from 16-41 would like to be called between 21-28.

Are there different formulas for certain age ranges? or could there be one consistent formula? Different formulas exist for sexes I am sure.

I think a young man's preferred appearance age is between 25-28 while a woman's preferred age of appearance is between 21-25

I would love to hear your thoughts. I hope to have this posted sometime next week. Please comment with even the smallest ideas. Anything helps!

Monday, February 28, 2011

Trimutual Nakedness

This theory doesn't take much convincing. Most people agree with it quickly. But it is very funny and applies in MANY situations.

If you have the same relationship with two different people independently that does not mean that you can have the same style/quality of relationship with both people at the same time.

Additionally, that relationship you have is translated through your person so that the other two involved feel the same relationship between each other.

It is easier explained in the form of a story.

It is okay for me to experience certain bodily functions in the presence of my wife. (i.e. bathroom visits) It also has been a common occurrence for me to experience these things in the presence of my guy friends because when in public of course we share the same restroom. But it is not okay (at least in Kristen's mind) for me to experience this with both her and one of my guy friends present. She says it make her feel like she is using the bathroom in front of the guy. Not cool.

Another example comes in the form of conversation. I feel comfortable discussing sex with my wife (of course). I also have discussed this with wise men, and friends. I would never consider talking about this with both at the same time. It would make them feels like they were talking with each other about a issue in which they are not comfortable discussing with each other.

Ponder. Comment.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Candy Bars and First Impressions.

A lie or the best foot forward?

I recently had a kit-kat. They are delicious. Also, it came from my lovely wife as a gift for valentines day.

This is what got me thinking... I would take the first bit of the kit-kat and it was amazing. Half way through I would be satisfied and think that I could just eat one and be satisfied. Then when the last bit hit my lips I couldn't help but want one more. I started to develop this theory; the outside/edge of a candy bar is always the best.

So the next night I did some research. I ate a kit-kat. Ends first! That's right, I took my first bit and then flipped it around and took out the opposite end before finishing the middle. Amazing results. I ate just one.

This is what I think happened. The middle of the bar is good, but not too good. Not, addictive good. I have learned how to beat the system.

Another example. Resses. The best part is the outer edge that has a high ratio of chocolate to peanut butter. The edge is the best part. I know what you are thinking. Chocolate is better than peanut butter, it's not the edge it is what is on the edge. And to that I say exactly! These people know exactly what we want and they give it to us at the beginning and at the end.

This got me thinking. Is this putting the best foot forward or is it a lie? Why are they covering up who they really are or are they just trying to have people see what is great about them so they can enjoy. Either way it is good marketing for candy bars.


Lessons learned: First impressions count and the end has to be great as well.

What do you think?

Monday, January 31, 2011

More of a Good Thing

If this is your first time around it might serve you well to review the first post of What, Why, When and Where and take a glance at the twix theory. Truly Discourse and Jargon at its finest.



Which is Better?

More of a Good Thing, or Less of a Bad thing.

Which would you prefer?

To have a little more of happy stuff, or not as much of a negative item?


The background story.
I work 4-10 hour days each week. I usually work Tuesday through Friday and one of my co-workers works Monday through Thursday. We do this so that there is a 10 hour worker there each day of the week. Sometimes we switch around and work the opposite schedule. During my 6 months at this job I have found that I greatly prefer the Tuesday through Friday schedule. Let me explain, then you can debate.

When you work Monday through Thursday the sensation in your mind is that you are getting OFF EARLY. You are cutting the week short. For means of this discussion you are getting less of a bad thing (the work week). In contrast when you work Tuesday through Friday the feeling is that you have extended your weekend. When Sunday night comes around I feel great because I get a longER weekend. Notice we both get Long weekends. But in my case (Tues.Fri) I get to feel a longER weekend. More of a good thing.

I'll give you another example to allow you to apply this to other situations. For your whole life, every wednesday, you have eaten brussels sprouts for dinner with 1 scoop of ice cream for dessert. (yes brussels has an s). I know this is a weird dinner but stay with me for the sake of conversation. One evening you get presented with an option.

1. you only have to eat 6 brussels sprouts tonight and you still get you same 1 scoop of ice-cream.
2. you have to eat the full 10 pieces of sprouts but you get 2 scoops rather than the normal 1 scoop of ice-cream.

Choice two is the clear winner. And I think would be the winner for most people because having more of a good thing is better than having less of a bad thing.

Now of course you can make this scenario go either way you want. If the choice was more ice-crease vs. less bullets in your arm I think you would choose less of a bad thing. But when considering relatively equal options of bad and good I think more of a good thing wins every time.

What do you think?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Ten rules about the sports center top ten. In no order.


1. A walk off home run does not automatically qualify a play for the top ten
2. There should never be more than 5 diving baseball catches
3. Random sports and ostrich races do not qualify as a top ten play
4. Don't ever show mascots racing and one of them getting knocked off their feet. we've see it 100 times already
5. A hockey goal does not qualify as a top play unless the shot is different or causes amazement
6. Cannot include a horse race unless one horse actually jumps another horse in order to win.
7. Should not be made up entirely of the sporting events that were broadcast on espn the night before.
8. Should never ever ever include an awkward world series of poker celebration.
9. NASCAR should never break the top 5.
10. Use high school and amateur sports at least twice a week.


Change any of these? Add anything we missed?

A Clayton and John Veazey cooperation.